The tag line for The Haunted Lullaby is “a thoughtful poignant blog of perspective, poetry, and random thoughts.” I have not shared any poetry – yet. Now, I am ready to do so.
Much as I discussed in my post about why I started my blog, I started writing poetry as a means to express myself. I had written numerous small pieces off and on since I was a teenager but I had never really taken it seriously. Like most men, I tend to need to think through to how I feel, though I do find myself more introspective than most of my male counterparts. This is in contrast to females, who need to feel through their emotions to understand how they think. Writing the poems became an avenue to allow me to think through the emotions I was experiencing.
Everything in life is about timing. And the timing for me to truly realize my love of writing poetry and how much it helped me to understand how I felt came to a head in very late 2010. This is when my former wife and I separated and decided that our marriage was no longer working. With no disrespect to any of my friends or family (all of whom are wonderful), I didn’t really have an avenue to discuss and deal with what was occurring in my life. I came to the conclusion that I didn’t have anyone that I could discuss the matter with that I felt could understand how I possibly felt at that moment. And, perhaps, I wasn’t exactly sure how to convey how I was feeling because I wasn’t entirely sure how, or what, I was indeed feeling. I did know that I felt awful and lost. I felt like a failure and everything I wanted in my life, and worked so hard to build, was now crashing down upon me. I didn’t know where to turn in those early days. So, I turned to myself, a pen, and some paper. The poems became a means for me to sit quietly and write out my feelings. The feelings helped me to gain clarity, perspective, and understand what I was actually thinking by cutting through the emotions I felt.
The more I wrote, the better I felt. I started to use the poems to not only explore how I felt but also challenge myself. In my blog entry about my adventures in theater, I discussed my love of puzzles, and like my writing, the poetry became very abstract. I started to carry a notepad of paper to record things I felt in real-time or as I felt inspired.
I have rarely shared my poetry with others. Part of the reason is that being a male, I suppose the society I have grown up in has shown me to guard my feelings. Our society teaches us that males that show emotion are weak. Quite the opposite is true in fact. I have come to realize it took much more effort to hide how I felt rather than to expose it. I also felt better in showing my emotions, almost like a burden had been lifted off of me. By opening up, not only my poetry, but on my journey in life, I was able to connect with others that, surprisingly, had similar feelings as myself and it gave me an avenue to be able to share perspectives and both give and gain clarity. Connecting with someone and helping them to gain perspective and clarity and see them move onto a path that is right for them gives me an incredible feeling. And, just as the timing was right when my divorce occurred to seriously start pursuing my writing and poems, I feel that now is the right time to show case some of it.
A few quick itemized notations about my poems:
1. I am not an English major nor am I classically, or formally, trained in any types of literary components or writing. The writings may step outside the scope of accepted poetic rules. I am okay with that.
2. As previously discussed, the poems are written when I feel inspired or when the mood strikes. They are usually written in a single setting and are never contrived. I feel this takes away from the emotion I was feeling at the moment in that specific time. The emotion fuels the writing and it is raw. This produces the best work in my opinion.
3. I haven’t named any of the poems and have not come to the conclusion how I will handle this situation to separate them. Like everything in my life, this will be a work in progress.
4. Sometimes I may give background to the poems, other times I may not. It just depends. I would also like to say that a poem posted is not necessarily reflective of how I am feeling at the present moment.
I will be adding a category list called “Poetry” (right to the point huh?) where I will be posting some of my work. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Please feel free to comment and/or discuss on any point you like.
Lastly, I hope they inspire and if at all possible, strike an emotion in you that helps you on your journey through life.