Would You Care for a Drink?

When I go to the Super Target a few exits down my from house to go grocery shopping, I usually find that I am hungry. Grocery shopping makes me feel hungry. Actually, now that I think about it, I actually feel hungry all the time and everything makes me feel this way. But, I digress. One of my favorite places to stop and eat is the Firehouse Subs on the corner. For those of you who aren’t aware of this establishment, it is a chain restaurant that serves both hot and cold deli sub sandwiches. It has a firefighter theme as it was started by a couple of firefighter brothers in Jacksonville, Florida, in 1994. The people at this particular location are always very friendly and always get my order right. Plus, they always have sports on the mounted TV, which is an open invitation to me, especially since I got rid of my cable a few months ago.

So, about a week ago, I go in for my usual routine. As I enter, I notice that about one quarter of the floor of the restaurant is completely covered in water. Not like someone had spilled it but it was leaking from somewhere, and slowly, ever so slowly, making its way across the restaurant. This conversation then ensued:

Me: (Seeing the water) What’s going on?

Worker: (Behind the Counter) Not much. How are you today?

Me: Um, I’m good. What’s happened with the water?

Worker: (Casually looks at the water as if nothing unusual has happened) Oh, yeah. We have water leaking from like the bathroom or something. Can I take your order?

Me: (Even more confused) Um, is it like safe to eat here or what?

Worker: (Confused by my confusion) I mean, yeah. I wouldn’t go running through it or anything but it is fine.

So, I am standing there, wishing I did have my boots, and hearing the The Twilight Zone theme in my head and wondering if Rod Serling would suddenly pop out to tell me I was in another dimension, Ashton Kutcher would tell me I was being “Punk’d,” or perhaps Peter Funt would inform me to “Smile! You are on candid camera,” and against my better judgement, decided that, indeed, my stomach was more powerful than my brain, and I would place an order. So, I did. And, I quickly claimed the farthest table from the flood waters for both myself and the Land of Narnia. I also figured that if Noah was building the Ark anywhere, it would likely be in this location of the restaurant, and I, and my piping hot sandwich, could board safely.

So, I am waiting for my sandwich and watch fellow patrons and other workers scurry around, with apparently everyone oblivious to the water which has now covered almost about 30% of the restaurant and is slowly moving under the chip rack. One couple actually chooses a table in the water!

After about 10 minutes, I nearly finish my sandwich and watch the couple who had selected the table within the drink, now finish and stand up. The man seems almost shocked he is standing in the water. He turns to the same worker and says to him, “Water problem?”

“Yep,” the worker replies.

“Looks like it is moving across the floor,” the man says.

“Yep,” casually replies the worker.

The man shrugs and he and his female companion then slowly walk out like nothing unusual had happened.

I also finish my sandwich and prepare to leave and survey the floor. The water has now covered almost a third of the entire floor and appears it won’t be impeded through either any physical barrier or anyone bothering to clean it up. But, patrons keep coming in, sitting down, and sandwiches keep rolling out.

Irony that I was eating in a firefighter themed restaurant and it was being taken over (literally) by the main tool of firefighters to put out fires?


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