Goodbye, My Friend

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Rest in Peace to my friend Chyna – 1998 – 2015

My sweetest girl,

Loyal friend,

You were always there,

Sharing unconditional love,

Until the end,

Seventeen years is a long time,

But it surely feels like not enough,

I thank you for what you provided,

All that you did,

You helped me thru shallow times,

Always providing a guiding light,

My companion right by my side,

Laying with me each night,

Gentle goodness in your heart,

You and I are family forever,

Even in passing, that will never end.

I miss you,

I love you,

Feel no more pain,

Rest in sweet sleep,

Goodbye, my friend,

In the Elysian Fields,

I will see you again.

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This morning, June 27, 2015, I laid my sweet little girl to rest. I have had her for almost 17 years. She passed peacefully. I miss her already.

This is the last picture I took of her on June 26, 2015.

This is the last picture I took of her on June 26, 2015.

This was a pretty typical morning for us as she was never pleased to have me leave the house.

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81 thoughts on “Goodbye, My Friend

    • Thank you. I appreciate that. Yes, it was incredibly difficult. I was hoping she would have passed in the night but in hindsight, I was glad I was there to be able to soothe her in her last moments.

      She was an incredible friend. It is amazing how close one can be with an animal. They don’t judge or have bad days.

      She helped me through a lot of turbulence and very bad times in the last five years. I will always be grateful. I hope I was able to give her a good life.

      The staff at the clinic was very comforting and professional and allowed me as much time with her as I liked. Once she passed, I held her for 15 minutes. I joked that it was the only time she allowed me to hold her. She wanted to be as close to you as possible but not held or on your lap. Even this morning, she had wet herself, and I was cleaning her up and upon picking her up, she meowed and fought me. It was the most energy she had shown in a week. I was glad that, even towards the end, she hadn’t changed.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Awe, this made me tear up. I’m glad you both had a mutual love. Female cats in my experience have always been a bit more sassy than males. There’s no doubt she had a good life.

        Sending you my love, because I understand how hard it is to lose a fur child.

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      • Thank you. I hope she knows how much she was loved. She nuzzled me on the table before they administered the drug to basically make her groggy. I hope I was able to comfort her in what I am sure was a very uncomfortable time.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m so sorry, JC. I don’t know what else to say. I understand it’s the worst feeling ever and especially when there’s nothing to be done, it can feel like the end of the world. I hope you’ll feel better soon, knowing that you did the right thing for her. x

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    • Hi SB. I just feel very empty. As is very natural with a death, I am going through the progression of second guessing myself with thoughts of “Did I spend enough time with her,” “Was I a good owner,” and “Did I care enough?”

      I have had so many people turn their back on me but she never did. We faced so much turbulence together and I recall one time, when I gave up the house in the divorce and moved out, someone asked me if I was going to get rid of her. I told that person that she never turned her back on me and I would not turn mine on her.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I can’t believe someone would ask such a question. Pets give us so much in emotionally. Please try to forget what that awful person said. Your pet was there to help you through the rough times. You have also made new friends after that and you know who they are because of how they treat you now when you need them.

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      • Well, people generally regard other people with the most distinction. Then look at how they treat one another. The respect just dwindles when it comes to animals and personal property.

        It honestly doesn’t bother me what was said. I don’t think it was meant to be malicious but loyalty is a very important thing to me. We may have had some rough times but we never turned our backs on one another. I wouldn’t have ever gotten rid of her. She was too wonderful. Her little heart reminded me of what was good in the world. She was such a precious little soul. Everyone who met her loved her.

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s an important reminder, JC. We need to be respectful and mindful with our words. Loyalty is a non negotiable for me, as well. That for me is the glue that holds meaningful partnerships (of any kind) together. Sending you more best wishes. x

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      • A wise man once told me “Where there is no trust – there can be no love.” I think that applies to any type of relationship.

        Thank you again for your kindness.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Sending a hug if I may, Jarrod. Mysty was fifteen and like a third baby to me, even though an old lady. Writing about it helped and time… Take good care. ~ k

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    • Thank you Karin. Your kind words are very much appreciated. I keep thinking I see her in the bed and I keep telling myself I need to leave the doors to her room open so she can get in. She has been such a big part of my life for so long. Taking care of her has been in my routine for a long time.

      She went peacefully this morning. I am glad I made the decision to be with her. I knew I would have regretted it had I not. I hope I was able to comfort her in those final minutes.

      Thank you again Karin for your thoughtfulness. I am sorry to hear about Mysty. It seems like she was a wonderful companion as well.

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  3. J- you gave her such love and she could not asked for a better owner. Your thoughts are written so beautifully.if you ever a need a friend, let me know. -mschmidt

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    • Thanks Melissa. That means a lot to me coming from you. I know you know the experience with losing a pet. It is incredibly difficult. I appreciate the kind words on my writing.

      I know you are always here as a friend and it is appreciated and valued.

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  4. I know all too well this chagrin. I feel your loss with you. They do become like our children with their different personalities and character. As you touched her heart as you did hers, I’m sure you will be reunited with her at the end of all seasons. Be well my friend

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    • Thank you. You always have a knack for finding the right words with such poignancy. I really admire your writing skills.

      I hope I was able to provide a good home and a good life for her. She was a wonderful little cat. She was found as a stray on the street so I like to imagine that whatever I gave her was better than what she would had. She was so tender and had such a good little heart. I will miss how sweet she was. She reminded me that there is still good in this world.

      I have kept you in my thoughts as well. I hope that you and your family are persevering. I know you are dealing with difficult times too. Please know I have kept you in my thoughts.

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  5. You haven’t imagined anything. You provided an excellent home for her and she was touched by love. This is the reality. In a special place on the other side you will be reunited. That kind of love can separate us and inevitably reunites us once again. It is a mere blip in the big scheme of things Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. Your kindness is much appreciated. However this day belongs to you not to me. I had my day with the support of everybody. Again my friend this day belongs to you. I’m here for you.

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    • Thank you. It makes me feel good to hear that. I think back of her laying in the bed with me each night, sleeping on top of my feet as I sat in my chair, or her greeting me when I came home and it is a nice reminder that she knew i loved her.

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  6. I’m so sorry… I lost my 15 year old cat last year and I know how terrible it is. Such an empty feeling. I have a poem on here I wrote about him as well. Although it doesn’t make it better, it can help you find closure and solace.
    I’m sure she had a wonderful life, and no one can ever take away the memories you have of her. She looks beautiful and it sounds like she was beautiful inside as well. I hope you find peace soon. You’ll be in my thoughts.

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    • Thank you Blair. I am sorry for your loss as well. I know how difficult that must have been for you being that you are such a big animal lover.

      I’ve been so battered and bruised through love that I never really thought I could truly love. The way I felt about this animal proved to me I could. I didn’t realize how strongly I felt about her until I realized she was going to pass soon. It has only been about 12 hours and I miss her so much already.

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      • Animals sure do have a way of reviving your heart… Missing a pet is hard, but it does ease over time. Just remember the good times you had with her and that you may see her again some day.

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      • Thanks again Blair. Yes, everything helps with time. They gave me a lock of her fur and a little clay tablet with her name etched in it along with her paw prints. It will be something I always treasure.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much Shawn for your kind words and thoughts. Yes, you are right. The years go by so quickly for all of us. That’s why it is important to live in the moment. We might not have a future.

      Thank you for thinking of me.

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    • Thanks Danica for your kind words. They are appreciated. She was a truly wonderful friend and companion. I miss her already so much. I can’t believe how quickly the time went by. I will always remember her.

      The vet’s office was wonderful today and gave me a little clay tablet with her paw prints in it and her name as well as a lock of her fur. I will always treasure it just like I did her.

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    • Thank you Caroline. Those words and hugs are appreciated. I am truly the lucky one. She helped me through a very difficult part of my life. I could never repay her for all the unconditional love she provided. She showed me there truly is good in this world amass all the greed and human condition.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Stop thanking me silly lol. I am very sweet but can sometimes be a biotch lol. She looked very sweet. The hardest part for me was coming home after work n not hearing or seeing the paws by the front door 😦 It will be difficult at first and that’s ok. Be good to yourself xo

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      • Yes when I woke up today my first thoughts were that I needed to check on her to see how she was and feed her. It was sad to come to the realization that I would no longer need to do that.

        I am glad you have been so very sweet to me.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m just glad I’m able to pay forward a tiny bit of the amazing support given to me by you and many others. It’s gonna suck for a while and it’s supposed to. Just know I’m here ok? xo

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      • Sure, thank you. Writing helps me express my emotions which is why I feel this blog has been successful. Previously, I expressed nothing and internalized everything which was extremely detrimental to my personal growth and ability to move past trying times such as this event.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m the same way but I don’t remember ever NOT expressing my thoughts and feelings lol. My parents were pioneers. They always cared, respected n were interested in what we thought and how we felt lol. Sometimes they did regret it though πŸ˜‰

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      • It is partially a male thing and partially the experiences I had growing up. The male culture is finally moving away from the stigma that showing emotions makes you weak. My father grew up in the late 40s and 50s when men didn’t show any type of emotion. Though he never instructed me to feel to this or attempted to belittle me if I did show emotions, I emulated him as most boys do with their fathers. Very recently, showing emotions is something my family has done and been open to, including my father.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m glad they are evolving. My Dad n brothers are that way also. If we had never lost Pepper, I don’t think he would’ve gotten thru my Mom’s illness n death as well as he has. My Mom would hug him n say are u crying again? Lol

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    • Thank you Laine. I am sorry for the loss of your cat. It has been a difficult challenge for sure. I miss her greatly and she meant so much to me.

      Thank you for your sentiments. You are always so thoughtful in your words. They mean a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. A beautiful tribute! Your love comes across although I know words can never capture the true extent of what you must have shared with this wonderful creature.

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    • Thank you. The road has been hard. She meant a tremendous amount to me. Her loyalty and friendship always shone through the dark days. I miss her greatly.

      Saturday was a very difficult day but I am glad I made the decision to be there with her in her final moments. I was there to pet her, comfort her, and look her straight in the eyes. I know I would have regretted it had I not done it. The pain was immense but we were loyal to each other, even to the end.

      Do you have an email I can reach you on? There is something I’d like to share.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I just found your email. I have my settings all messed up so I get what feels like a thousand emails a day from my blog and blogging activity in addition to everything else. I apologize for being so late, but am happy to do it.

    Your poem was very touching, it brought tears to my eyes. She was obviously a sweet girl. I know you’ll miss her always.

    Memee.

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  9. This is your brother Gary. Somehow I missed this posting…I am swamped with my crazy life I have.
    You know me, cat lover forever. I have had SO many cats in my life, since I was 12 years old, and today I have 7 cats I love so much.
    I always took care of them and took them to the vet, but they get old, a disease or a accident and they die. You are never prepared for it.
    Part of life , I guess.
    One cat I had named rock and roll, she lived to be 19 years old.
    You should adopt another, they are the best pets. Find a stray or go to a shelter, like a save a pet place.
    There is nothing more peaceful than a furry cat laying across your chest, purring and falling to sleep with you.
    Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my little buddies I use to have in my past. They live in my heart…and according to the pope, I can see them soon when it is my time to die!
    Cool!
    Love ya bro,
    Gary

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    • It is the unfortunate part of owning a pet. I miss Chyna greatly. She was a wonderful companion.

      Though not a replacement, I am enjoying my new friend Dandelion. Her personality is so much different from Chyna’s.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I know that it has been a while since you posted this, but the words tugged at my heart strings. I am truly sorry for your loss, and as an avid animal lover, I can understand your pain and grief. One day you will meet again!

    Like

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