*I posted this on Facebook and wanted to share with all of you – my blogging friends – because it is intended for you as well.
I wanted to thank everyone who “liked,” commented on a post, emailed, or texted me with encouragement on the passing of my cat Chyna. All gestures, whether big or small, were appreciated and have helped me navigate this difficult situation.
As many of you may be aware to some degree, the last five years of my life have been filled with extreme changes, immense sadness and sorrow, and very turbulent times with many tribulations. There have been many wonderful people that helped me (too many to list – but you know who you are) but the one constant in my life during these times was Chyna. She was always there providing unconditional love, never judging, even in times that I wasn’t at my best and didn’t have the proper tools. Her little beautiful heart offered encouragement that there were still good in this world among all the chaos I felt, and even in times that I felt I didn’t want to live anymore nor did I have any reason to live anymore. She always reminded me that there was someone who loved me and needed me.
Her health failed so quickly – basically in the last three weeks. It is still shocking to me that it was so quick. Her behavior started to change and when I took her in a week ago from last Friday I got the news that, unfortunately, her kidneys and liver were failing. I could never have imagined we would only have a week together but each day things got worse. I struggled with this decision because I felt like if done too soon, then I was turning my back on her, and if too late, she was suffering. It became apparent to me on Wednesday, after she wet herself and laid in it, that the time was right. No one, or animal, should ever have to be subjected to that. Over the last few days, I spent many hours with her petting her, comforting her, and giving her fresh towels to lay on. Though she wanted to spend much of her time alone, our interactions still caused her to purr which brought me great joy. Even her last night, after wetting herself, I picked her up to clean her and she still found the energy to meow and fight me as I cleaned her. She always hated to be picked up and it actually made me smile that she stayed true to herself to the end.
The staff at the clinic was very good and allowed me all the time I needed. I spent some time with her before and comforted her and held her for 15 minutes after she had passed, joking that it was the first time in 17 years she had let me hold her. It was the best experience for such a negative situation.
I’ve cried more in the last four days than I have in the last 25 years including over my divorce and the ending of my relationship with my Mother. My heart hurts knowing Chyna is gone but I knew she was suffering and had no quality of life. I truly wish I could subtract some years off of my life and give them to her so we had more time together.
Though I don’t need anyone’s validation, I do hope it helps some people to understand why this has been such a difficult situation for me.
And specifically to my blogging friends, I want to extend a special thank you. It is truly amazing how cruel, thoughtless, and uncaring people in our “real lives” can be. Meanwhile, people on the internet, that I have never met in person, but am proud to call real friends, can be so kind, caring, and thoughtful. I have never met any of you people in person but all of you were so quick to offer kind words, thoughts, and encouragement. Many of you emailed me as well. I just wanted to let you know how much it meant to me – how much this community means to me – that all of you care so much for a perceived “stranger” in his time of need. Please know that reading a simple blog post and “liking it,” and/or commenting with a kind word – which likely took you a total of 2-3 minutes made an an immense impact in my life. Thank you again, friends – not internet friends – but friends.