Haiku – #V Challenge – Lips and Silence

qtation352

The words from my lips,

Fall upon the deafest of ears,

Effect like silence.

Poem written for the #v hastag prompted by @Voetry on Twitter using the words “Lips” and “Silence.” If you are on Twitter, I’d invite you to participate in the challenges as they are a lot of fun.

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41 thoughts on “Haiku – #V Challenge – Lips and Silence

    • It can be done with a considerable amount of growth and introspection. One can also focus on working to face their insecurities and fears rather than pushing them away and deflecting on others.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Nothing in life comes easy. I suffered severe mental and emotional abuse as a child and to some degree, physical, as well. I became so used to my mother projecting her insecurities on me that I learned the technique myself which then created an anger problem.

        Anger management issues are like being an alcoholic or a drug addict. It never goes away. But, if we choose to, we can learn to find positive means and techniques to deal with it rather than the negative ones that destroy us.

        It took an incredible amount of work just to be able to find the courage to admit I had a problem and that I wanted to fix it. It was difficult to work through it and is still challenging even to this day. But, I got tired of being tired and of my own behavior. I wanted to be in control of myself at all times and be the person I knew I could be.

        Foolishly, I allowed myself to be controlled by the actions of others and became reactive to them. It was borne out of my own insecurities and inability to reconcile them. I didn’t know how to deal with the anger and pain I felt so I pushed it down and then lashed out once it boiled over.

        I didn’t have the right tools then but I do now. Trust me, I still have insecurities. It comes with the territory when you spend most of your life being told you are a fucking failure, worthless, nothing, fat, and that no woman will ever love you.

        But, I also realize my insecurities are my own. I own them now. I struggle everyday – with my body image and the feeling that I wasted my life and am nowhere near where I should be in life. But, I can wallow in how I feel or try to find avenues to improve it. It is difficult but I try to improve my situation.

        I also don’t need to defend myself to anyone nor fight with them. I know who I am. I am the person I want to be. I control my own actions at all times. I am not controlled by others. If people are being jerks, I don’t have to respond. I can always walk away. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life but I am trying to make better decisions when faced with similar situations. That’s growth and that’s ultimately a sign of real change.

        Be well my friend.

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      • Jarrod. Your words and suffering and strength and honesty and insight really inspire me. It’s easy to be okay if you were brought up well but many of us were not, and our lives are spent building ourselves when we should take that as given but do not have that luxury. I admire those who rise from adversity the most. Like you. Thank you so much for your truth and the reality of you. Xx

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      • We all have trials and tribulations. These are mine. It is up to us to determine how we face them and how we work to grow from them.

        Thank you for the very kind words. I am glad you have found my journey inspiring. Thank you for joining me in it. I am slowly finding that I think my purpose in life is different than what I initially thought.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I do find tour courage and candor inspired because the world beats passion out of us and you hold on through storms and don’t compromise. That’s integrity by definition.

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      • So many people have turned their backs on me that I have learned to trust myself above everything else. I have always been very self-reliant. Everyone else may turn their back on me but I won’t on myself or who I am or what I want to be.

        I don’t usually promote my own material but since this is pertinent to the conversation and you are a new reader, I’d encourage you to read this.

        https://thehauntedlullaby.com/2014/03/04/victim-of-nothing/

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m going to read that now. Thank you. Many have turned their backs on me also. I have long wondered why. It may be bad luck. It may be people are just cruel. But it is no reflection on you.

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      • Thanks for reading the article and being a part of my community.

        I am sorry to hear that you have experienced that. I find people often project their insecurities onto others. It is much easier to deflect and project your problems on others instead of facing them. It is a situation that I have faced many times.

        By the way, I have checked out your blog. You are very talented and it is obvious others recognize your talent by the number of interactions you have on each post. I found your blog page on Facebook too.

        I only regret I didn’t find your work sooner.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I get depressed on Facebook but feel better here. Everyone seems more genuine. I have long wanted what you describe, a community of people. I’m not very social but that half way point. I do agree. Projecting onto others makes everything mangled. I admit my flaws and shortcomings, I have many, I hope honesty helps in others who know me and maybe accept me for who I am. Nothing less works. I feel fortunate to be part of your community. Thank you for writing me.

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      • You are always welcome here. I have had mostly good interactions on WordPress. It is like anything in life – there are a few rotten apples here and there. But, I just avoid them and move along. I am not in the business of fixing people. I tried that with my mother, ex-wife, and an ex-girlfriend. Lesson learned.

        I mostly use Facebook to post my articles and catch up with old friends. Beyond that, it is a thousand pictures of your children, your dog, or quotes about religion or politics. I don’t have children or a dog or care about religion or politics so I don’t have much use for it.

        I think one that is able to admit their own mistakes and insecurities is on a good journey in life. It helps us to understand and evaluate areas where we can grow. Forgiveness is important too. I have struggled to forgive myself for the transgressions and mistakes I have made. Yes, my life has been turbulent. But, it isn’t just everyone else’s fault. A lot of the chaos was created by me – both intentionally and unintentionally. A lot of times, I didn’t have the right tools to control my anger and emotions. I also let people dictate my emotions. I have better tools now.

        You are welcome. You can always reach me at thehauntedlullaby@yahoo.com as well.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I like the name. Haunted lullaby. I agree, fixing people can be hard and wear us down. I try to help others but I have been betrayed too much to extend that indefinitely as some can. So I know what you mean. Self forgiveness is hard I know, but it is a freedom. I hope you are not too hard on yourself you seem a person who has a good soul. Xx

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      • Thank you. The name comes from a song by the American hard rock band, Dokken. They made a song in 1999 named “Another Haunted Lullabye.” I love the lyrics of the song.

        We can’t fix people. We can guide them but they can only change if they want to. I made the same mistakes over and over in life. I finally figured out the problem was me. The mistakes were especially glaring when it came to women. I kept running into the same problems with women because, essentially, I kept dating the same woman over and over. Yes, they were different women, but I chose the same type of woman with the same problems. So, while their issues were their own, ultimately it was my fault. I had to break the cycle.

        I remain very guarded. I’ve never had a lot of friends and don’t seek people out. Someone mentioned to me that my plans for my life seem very lonely. I told them I have felt alone all my life.

        I’ve very hard on myself to be honest. But, I am trying to understand that a lot of the things I did wrong were because I had poor life tools. It doesn’t excuse my behavior or actions. But, the greatest reward I have received in my life is when I make better decisions when faced with similar situations where I had previously made a poor decision. It shows that I learned and I grew. That is ultimately what is important.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Isn’t it interesting I think it have dated the same person over and over. You’ve given me a lot to think about. I will have to hunt down that music

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      • Maybe your road has been parallel to mine in that regard.

        Here is the song:

        Here are the lyrics:

        You – you took me to a place I’d never been
        High – much higher than before
        Now – the vision of you haunting me again
        Your spirit chills me to the core
        Sing to me / your twisted melody
        Mesmerized / it never seems to end
        Another haunted lullabye
        I don’t know the reason or the rhyme
        Another haunted lullabye
        Steal away the cradle in my mind
        Gone – and left me with insatiable desire
        Still – I can’t escape your trance
        Take – your pleasure when you play with my lament
        You cast a shadow bound romance
        Sing to me / your symphony of woe
        Deafening / oh will it ever end
        Another haunted lullabye
        I don’t know the reason or the rhyme
        Another haunted lullabye
        Steal away the cradle in my mind
        I can’t stand the way your silence leaves me broken
        And my loneliness is playing on the strings of my despair
        Another haunted lullabye
        I don’t know the reason or the rhyme
        Another haunted lullabye
        Steal away the cradle in my mind

        Liked by 1 person

      • Great band. Unfortunately, they came out in the early 80s and then got lumped into the whole Los Angeles glam metal scene. Once you get past the dated clothes and big hair and really look at the music, which is ultimately what matters, they made a lot of wonderful songs with great melodies, harmonies, hooks, thoughtful lyrics, and of course, amazing guitar playing from George Lynch.

        Liked by 1 person

      • My brothers introduced me to it in the 80s when I was a kid and I loved it! I love the roaring guitars and solos!

        My favorites of the “80s bands” are Dokken, WASP, Ratt, and ICON.

        Like

      • Everything you wrote in that post is true. I don’t want think God saves I think we save. I am not sure we go through as much as you have because we are strong enough to cope with it. I think it’s random. Maybe that is the greatest horror. Thinking there is no rhyme. Some cannot accept this. But is the alternative better? God’s wrath? Giving us what we can handle, or some curse… No. It’s life, and if we survive as you have ( and I so greatly admire you for this) we pass this on. That is the good. We are the good. If we do nothing then it’s good men doing nothing, the hole in the world. You and your learned strength and truths patch that hole for many people. You helped me and countless others. I am glad I found you, that you stayed alive, that you survived.

        Like

      • I don’t believe in God. Religion was created as a means for people to be able to rationally explain phenomena. Organized religion was created to control the masses out of fear. Being a Rational, I am not wired to understand it. That being said, I don’t want to change people’s minds. If religion is something that adds to your life, then I would encourage you to follow it.

        I agree with your assessment about “the being strong enough to handle it” statement. It was a comment from a dear friend meant to encourage me. While it isn’t necessarily true, I do appreciate that she is speaking to my character.

        I agree too that life is random. People search for reasons of why but sometimes there isn’t a why. If I get cancer and die in six months, and you live to be 100 years of age, it doesn’t mean you are a better person than me or I did something wrong. Things just happen. People can’t accept that though. I am amused that people think that God “rewards them” in good times and “challenges them” in bad times.

        Your words are very humbling to me and beyond flattering. If I can use my experiences to help others, then it is well worth it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for all of us. Sometimes it is very dim, but it is there.

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s along the same lines that I think though it doesn’t make me popular much. I agree. God would never reward or punish it would be sadomasochist and that flies in the face of sense. Things just happen. Now how to understand depression… Is it simply an illness like cancer or… I don’t know.

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      • I quit caring about what others think. I would encourage you to do the same. People see life through their own prism. What you think is best for your life isn’t necessarily right for mine. And vice versa. I also know the truth of every situation in my life. I know where I was wronged by others. I know where I treated others wrongly. And I know what happened. I don’t need to defend that to others.

        Rationally, religion doesn’t make sense to me. It is a foreign idea. But, I would never belittle those that believe. It is their right just as it is my right not to believe. I grew up in the Deep South of the United States, termed the Bible Belt, and those ideas aren’t popular. People become afraid when people think for themselves.

        Concerning depression, I have struggled with the idea you posed. I don’t think it is an illness. I think people believe it is to self-soothe. I am depressed. But, why? If you took a look at my life, you wouldn’t think I would be. I have a roof over my head, a good job, I make decent money, and I have good health and something to eat every day.

        Yet, I am depressed. I feel that way because I feel like I wasted my life and I feel like I am not where I should be. I also feel duped. But, that isn’t biological. It is a product of my experiences. There are many in the world that have far less than I do. I recognize that. It doesn’t make me ungrateful but I can’t change how I feel.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I try to do as you suggest. You still have time. If you were duped which is awful, there is time. Like you I cannot change what I feel but like you I try. You are refreshing and real. The world is fake but at least some who walk on it still make sense.

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      • The past is the past. It can’t be changed. We always lose when comparing ourselves to our past.

        I just have to accept it which is a major part of my struggle.

        Thank you again for your kindness. I guess it just depends on what you want out of life. I’ve had enough bullshit, arguing, and fighting to last a life time so I just don’t do it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t know what I want out of life. OK don’t get that far. I’m still at the surviving it stage which is wrong. Good words. We always loose when comparing. I must remember. So how did you get so wise??!!

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      • Sometimes we have to figure out what we don’t want in life to get closer to determining what we do want. Remember that it is a long road. I started my entire life over at age 30. Everything I once had was gone. But, life isn’t about achieving notches on your belt based upon a timeline.

        I’m not very wise. I have just made a ton of mistakes in my life and attempted to learn from them. I’ve also had the will and drive to face my problems and mistakes and try to be better. Maybe that’s what sets me apart. I try to keep perspective and focus on growing as a person.

        The key is to try and learn from your mistakes and not make one that is bad enough to kill you. I came very close on this one though my actions ultimately saved my life:

        https://thehauntedlullaby.com/2014/01/12/car-accident/

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes. Agreed. I have figured out what I do not want it leaves me wanting little, therein lies the rub. I reject too much of this world to comfortably inhabit it without chaffing. I’m not sure if that makes any sense outside my head.

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      • It makes sense. We are all in different points of life.

        In American culture, we have a formula, childhood, high school, college, marriage, have children (aka your life and anything you want to do with it is now over), retire, and then die. I have rejected this.

        I’m going to do what I want. And my ideas of what I want may change as I gain more experiences and wisdom as I age. I am a simple guy and I want simple things. Simple pleasures make me happy.

        Also, I always chuckle about silly stuff people complain about that they have to that make them miserable. Guess what? I don’t do anything I don’t want to. Easy formula right?

        Figure out what makes you happy in life, whatever it is, then go for it! Don’t be swayed by society’s ideas of happiness or success!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Good point. I think alongside you I want to reject that Aldo. I wonder if we are the same age? Sometimes it’s a generational thing. Are you babyboomer, x or millennial?

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      • I will I would love me that. Meanwhile be well my friend and thank you again, your words have power. Xxx

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    • Very good observational technique. As you mentioned, you can learn a lot about a person in that manner.

      Thank you on the quote. I thought it was fitting.

      I’ve been a victim of projection and deflection of insecurities for a long time. Because I experienced it at such a young age, I learned the technique myself. I became quite good at it!

      With some major changes and growth, I learned to kick the habit and am now very aware of when projection is occurring. It is a huge red flag to me and causes me to walk away from people immediately. I have dealt with it for a long time. Enough is enough.

      Liked by 1 person

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