Dear Santa – 2015

I wanted to share this letter with all of my readers that I sent to Kris Kringle, aka Santa Clause.

You better not pout! You better not cry! Shit...

You better not pout!
You better not cry!
Shit…


Dear Santa,

I hope this finds you well. I have been a very good young man this past year. (ahem, why are you laughing – I am still VERY young) Because I was so good, I wanted to kindly ask for a few things for Christmas. If you could oblige me, I would be eternally grateful. I will itemize them for your consideration.

1.I need a fresh start in life Santa. I had some really bad things happen to me and I made some mistakes in life. But, I have grown and spent the last three to four years cleaning up my mess. I feel like I am ready to take the next step forward in my life. I’d like to start over in a new area and begin from square one.

2. I’d like to have my own home again. I really miss my first home that I gave up in the divorce. I took very good care of it. I always did. I loved working in the yard. I had earned it and it was mine to call home. I’d love that again.

 

My first home.

 

3. I’d like a first generation Mustang. I’d really love a black 1968 Ford Mustang Fastback. It would be great if I could get the 302 cubic inch engine (you know, the 4.9L one) with the 4 barrel carburetor. That would be really awesome. I’d take really good care of it. You know I would. Oh, and I need a a place to put it. Maybe, like, a garage? (Please see item number 2!) I took such great care of my beloved Mazda 626. Look how great it looked on the day I sold it and it was 13 years old!

My beloved Mazda 626 I had from 2000 - 2013.

My beloved Mazda 626 I had from 2000 – 2013.

Though it is three items, I know I am asking for a lot. If I can only have one thing, I’d like item number one please. It would mean a lot to me.

I don’t have a chimney so I assume you will use the front door. (I only have one door but it is still the front, I guess) Anyways, I will leave you some cookies but I can’t leave any milk. For one, I have a cat and she will get into it. She gets into everything. Two, let’s cut to the chase here – we are all adults and you will be tired as going around the world in one night is tough. And I am sure Ms. Clause will be blowing up your phone wanting to know why you weren’t home at a certain time and if you are out drinking with the elves, blah, blah, blah. So, I will be a pal and leave you some bourbon. The cat doesn’t like bourbon. Oh, how do I know? Well, um, things got crazy one night..and well, never mind, it isn’t important. Anyways, I will leave you some good stuff too – some Knob Creek, Woodford Reserve, or Bowman Brothers and with some whiskey stones to keep it cold and not watered down.

Um, Santa?

Um, Santa?

Also, please keep the front door closed cause the cat will run out. She is a sneaky little shit very sweet little girl and it is tough to catch her. I had to chase her outside one day and it was a challenge. And with the reindeer, and it will be cold, and you might spill the bourbon I leave, I mean, it just sounds bad – really bad. So, just please close the door. Trust me on this. Plus, if you make too much noise I will wake up and then I’ll be mad that you didn’t listen to me and the cat got out. Well, when I see the Mustang, I will be happy, but I will still be agitated you didn’t listen to me. Plus, we will still have to go find the cat. Let’s just avoid all of that, okay? Awesome!

Santa, keep an eye out for Dandelion!

Santa, keep an eye out for Dandelion!

Well, Merry Christmas and thanks again for taking the time to read my letter!

Sincerely,

Jarrod

P.S. Here is a picture of me with my friend from Christmas 1983 when we met you!

Jarrod and Kelly

Crying Santa and Kids Image

Drunk Santa

All other images from my personal collection.

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28 thoughts on “Dear Santa – 2015

  1. Would I Iike to live in that house plus the mustang, well seems youΒ΄re moving forward (no other choice in life really but to move forward) and hope, at least hoping is free. Hope Santa goes through the front door, and do give him milk. Imagine all that he has to walk, jump up to the chimneys, climb down, back up, that has to be exhausting. He needs that milk to recharge batteries.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Enjoyed this very much, though I’d have to go for a ’65 or I’d be a little more open to the year if it were a Shelby πŸ˜‰ Your cat sounds like she needs a sip of that Bourbon to child out a bit. Here’s to great things in 2016!

    Like

    • Meant CHILL out, but I’m sure you figured that out already. Kids on my mind, all the time. Cats are nuts, but that is the kind I can deal with.

      Like

      • No problem. I knew what you meant. Though we are all writers and anal about correct grammar and punctuation, we are all still human and I am aware some people type from their phone, tablet, etc that make writing difficult. I’m not one to call people out or embarrass them over a spelling mistake. I only note it if it doesn’t allow me to understand what you meant. Then, I will just ask! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

    • I love them all! But, I do like when they opened the suspension up for the larger engine starting in ’67. I’m curious – why the preference for the ’65?

      Yes, the Shelby of course! I tried to go with something reasonable though that I would be able to afford. The one thing I love about the Mustangs is that they built so many during that time period that parts are readily available and the cost to purchase is relatively low compared to like a ’69 Camaro. For a collector, this makes the Mustang less valuable but I don’t want to collect – I want to drive it and work on it and have fun! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Reasonable?!!? You lost me there. Shit, if we’re going with Fantasy, why not go Whole Hog? Eh, I don’t claim to know much about particulars, but I like what I can see. I’m a woman after all. πŸ˜‰

        Camaros? Now you are starting a whole ‘nother topic. I can just say I have a thing for old muscle cars. Used to ride in them, watch them race.

        Listening to them gets your gears going, right? If you can actually work on them too you get high billing in my book. I hope you get your wish.

        Like

      • It was a dream for me but I have decided I am going to make it a reality. I have a plan. I have wasted my entire life doing what I was “supposed to do.” Now I am doing what I want to do.

        I love muscle cars and I love car shows. I want to learn to work on them. That’s part of the fun I think.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I think you kind of have to (work on them) if you are serious about owning one! Very happy you have a new plan, the first step is always the hardest.

        Like

  3. Hi,
    I know SouldierGirl, Richard Ankers, and Danny Ray. I met you on his site. That photo of the crying babies and crying Santa is hysterical. I am pretty happy, so I don’t know what I’d ask Santa for. Blog subscribers, LOL!
    Happy holidays
    Janice

    Like

    • Thank you for being a part of my community Janice. Souldiergirl, Richard, and Danny are very talented writers. I am so glad you enjoyed the piece and it brought a smile to your face! Happy Holidays to you as well!

      Liked by 1 person

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