Dear Santa – 2015

I wanted to share this letter with all of my readers that I sent to Kris Kringle, aka Santa Clause.

You better not pout! You better not cry! Shit...

You better not pout!
You better not cry!
Shit…


Dear Santa,

I hope this finds you well. I have been a very good young man this past year. (ahem, why are you laughing – I am still VERY young) Because I was so good, I wanted to kindly ask for a few things for Christmas. If you could oblige me, I would be eternally grateful. I will itemize them for your consideration.

1.I need a fresh start in life Santa. I had some really bad things happen to me and I made some mistakes in life. But, I have grown and spent the last three to four years cleaning up my mess. I feel like I am ready to take the next step forward in my life. I’d like to start over in a new area and begin from square one.

2. I’d like to have my own home again. I really miss my first home that I gave up in the divorce. I took very good care of it. I always did. I loved working in the yard. I had earned it and it was mine to call home. I’d love that again.

 

My first home.

 

3. I’d like a first generation Mustang. I’d really love a black 1968 Ford Mustang Fastback. It would be great if I could get the 302 cubic inch engine (you know, the 4.9L one) with the 4 barrel carburetor. That would be really awesome. I’d take really good care of it. You know I would. Oh, and I need a a place to put it. Maybe, like, a garage? (Please see item number 2!) I took such great care of my beloved Mazda 626. Look how great it looked on the day I sold it and it was 13 years old!

My beloved Mazda 626 I had from 2000 - 2013.

My beloved Mazda 626 I had from 2000 – 2013.

Though it is three items, I know I am asking for a lot. If I can only have one thing, I’d like item number one please. It would mean a lot to me.

I don’t have a chimney so I assume you will use the front door. (I only have one door but it is still the front, I guess) Anyways, I will leave you some cookies but I can’t leave any milk. For one, I have a cat and she will get into it. She gets into everything. Two, let’s cut to the chase here – we are all adults and you will be tired as going around the world in one night is tough. And I am sure Ms. Clause will be blowing up your phone wanting to know why you weren’t home at a certain time and if you are out drinking with the elves, blah, blah, blah. So, I will be a pal and leave you some bourbon. The cat doesn’t like bourbon. Oh, how do I know? Well, um, things got crazy one night..and well, never mind, it isn’t important. Anyways, I will leave you some good stuff too – some Knob Creek, Woodford Reserve, or Bowman Brothers and with some whiskey stones to keep it cold and not watered down.

Um, Santa?

Um, Santa?

Also, please keep the front door closed cause the cat will run out. She is a sneaky little shit very sweet little girl and it is tough to catch her. I had to chase her outside one day and it was a challenge. And with the reindeer, and it will be cold, and you might spill the bourbon I leave, I mean, it just sounds bad – really bad. So, just please close the door. Trust me on this. Plus, if you make too much noise I will wake up and then I’ll be mad that you didn’t listen to me and the cat got out. Well, when I see the Mustang, I will be happy, but I will still be agitated you didn’t listen to me. Plus, we will still have to go find the cat. Let’s just avoid all of that, okay? Awesome!

Santa, keep an eye out for Dandelion!

Santa, keep an eye out for Dandelion!

Well, Merry Christmas and thanks again for taking the time to read my letter!

Sincerely,

Jarrod

P.S. Here is a picture of me with my friend from Christmas 1983 when we met you!

Jarrod and Kelly

Crying Santa and Kids Image

Drunk Santa

All other images from my personal collection.

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Pony Power 03/16

I found this little girl sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store yesterday. She is a first generation Ford Mustang. She needs a little work but she is still beautiful all the same. I hope I have one just like her in the near future. 1968, 302 cubic inch big block V8, 4 barrel carb….I can see her now sitting in my garage.

Image Copyright Jarrod R. Champagne 2015

Image Copyright Jarrod R. Champagne 2015