Are Your Dogs on a Leash?


Many years ago, I had two dogs. While standing outside my own home with the dogs on a leash, I had this conversation with a lady and her husband who were approaching with their own dog on a leash.

Lady: (Coming around the corner about 50 feet away) Are your dogs on a leash?
Me: Of course, it’s the law.
Lady: Oh, well I didn’t know, I couldn’t see.
Me: (no reaction – just look at lady)
Lady: Well you don’t have to be smart about it!
Me: (confused look at lady)

Images from the public domain



Take Out Food

After another long work week, I ordered a sandwich from Firehouse Subs for dinner last night. I decided that I would pick up dinner and take it home to relax. As you might recall, I’ve had other adventures at the Firehouse Subs restaurant, though this is a different location.

I ordered the BBQ sandwich, which, for some unknown reason, has mayonnaise on it along with BBQ sauce. I’ll refer to this as the devil’s combination as only the great Lucifer himself could imagine such a concoction. I dislike, hate, loathe, and despise mayonnaise. So, I ordered the sandwich without mayonnaise. Once I returned home, I found my sandwich did not contain mayonnaise but it also did not contain BBQ sauce. It was meat on bread. I waited 20 minutes for this?

Okay. What’s going on with take-out? Why is it if you order something to be taken out you can almost guarantee your order will be incorrect? Even at restaurants, such as Firehouse Subs, where dining in, my order is always correct. What happens? Is there some sort of black magic that happens similar to the gnomes that inexplicably steal your socks from the dryer? I can’t figure it out. The only place this never occurs is Chinese take out and usually the people there can barely speak English. Yet, the order is always right.

Great mysteries of life: The Shroud of Turin, The Lost City of Atlantis, Roanoke – The Lost Colony, The Assassination of JFK, and now American Take Out.